Outline for Problem-solution Essay: Being more quiet in class
1. Don't talk unless I am told to
2. Raise my hand and don't shout out
3. Move to a quieter spot
4. Surround yourself with people that focus on school
Essay Prewriting:
Have you ever been yelled at constantly for being to loud? I definatley know some people know have a problem with that including me!
Sometimes it just seems hard not to talk and you feel like you almost have to. People feel like they need to speak their mind. Well, I thought of some ideas that can help you be less of a chatterbox and pay more attention in your class. (CHECK SPELLING IN THIS PARAGRAPH!)
I have always have had a problem with this and it always seemed so hard to try to fix. And when I try not to talk it never seems to work. I do have a very noisy loud class that sounds like a bunch of wild animals. I am not the noisiest but I am all the way up there. I am the type of the person who always has to speak my mind and it is very tempting to. I have tried to think of ways and here is what I have come up with. (Identify what the purpose of these "ways" would be)
People can try to not talk unless told to. This way people can hear what the teacher is saying and what they are trying to teach us. I have tried that once and when we had homework on the lesson we learned that I went through very fast and got it all right. Another way is raising your hand and not shouting out. My class tends to have a problem with that we are constantly getting yelled. If you do this the class doesn't get out of control. (Be careful to make your pronouns agree with their antecedent. Your ideas would be clearer if you wrote shorter sentences. Try to rewrite the third sentence more clearly.)
A couple of other ways are asking your teacher to move to a better spot with quiter people or not sitting by anyone.(Rewrite this sentence to have it say what you want.) This way you are not tempted to talk to anyone and no one is talking to you. Moving to the front is also good because if get wrongly accused of talking your teacher will notice that you are not. The last way is surrounding yourself with people that focus on school so you can get help from them.
These solutions can help students be more quiet in there classes at school. These will also help kids get more respect from there teachers.
Now I won't have to always be embarrassed from getting yelled at. I can also get better grades and less bad comments. The way we act builds our reputation and no one wants to have a bad one. (Stay in the third person. Also check the spelling.)
Ideas - 5 Organization 5 Word choice - 4 check second paragraph Voice 3 Try to use specific descriptions and verbs. Your idea cold have lent itself to dialogue, too Fluency 4 You have a variation of sentence beginnings. Try to vary the sentence lengths too Conventsions 3 Be consistent in your point of view (check last paragraph). Be sure to write in the first or third person, not the second person "you." Total points = B
Outline for Problem-solution Essay: Being more quiet in class
1. Don't talk unless I am told to
2. Raise my hand and don't shout out
3. Move to a quieter spot
4. Surround yourself with people that focus on school
Essay Prewriting:
Have you ever been yelled at constantly for being to loud? I definatley know some people know have a problem with that including me!
Sometimes it just seems hard not to talk and you feel like you almost have to. People feel like they need to speak their mind. Well, I thought of some ideas that can help you be less of a chatterbox and pay more attention in your class. (CHECK SPELLING IN THIS PARAGRAPH!)
I have always have had a problem with this and it always seemed so hard to try to fix. And when I try not to talk it never seems to work. I do have a very noisy loud class that sounds like a bunch of wild animals. I am not the noisiest but I am all the way up there. I am the type of the person who always has to speak my mind and it is very tempting to. I have tried to think of ways and here is what I have come up with. (Identify what the purpose of these "ways" would be)
People can try to not talk unless told to. This way people can hear what the teacher is saying and what they are trying to teach us. I have tried that once and when we had homework on the lesson we learned that I went through very fast and got it all right. Another way is raising your hand and not shouting out. My class tends to have a problem with that we are constantly getting yelled. If you do this the class doesn't get out of control. (Be careful to make your pronouns agree with their antecedent. Your ideas would be clearer if you wrote shorter sentences. Try to rewrite the third sentence more clearly.)
A couple of other ways are asking your teacher to move to a better spot with quiter people or not sitting by anyone.(Rewrite this sentence to have it say what you want.) This way you are not tempted to talk to anyone and no one is talking to you. Moving to the front is also good because if get wrongly accused of talking your teacher will notice that you are not. The last way is surrounding yourself with people that focus on school so you can get help from them.
These solutions can help students be more quiet in there classes at school. These will also help kids get more respect from there teachers.
Now I won't have to always be embarrassed from getting yelled at. I can also get better grades and less bad comments. The way we act builds our reputation and no one wants to have a bad one. (Stay in the third person. Also check the spelling.)
Ideas - 5
Organization 5
Word choice - 4 check second paragraph
Voice 3 Try to use specific descriptions and verbs. Your idea cold have lent itself to dialogue, too
Fluency 4 You have a variation of sentence beginnings. Try to vary the sentence lengths too
Conventsions 3 Be consistent in your point of view (check last paragraph). Be sure to write in the first or third person, not the
second person "you."
Total points = B